horomonal much?

Saturday afternoon - I was happily chatting away while on a van ride, describing my relationship with my dog Suki: "I think one of the reasons [Mr. Hubby] and I are so crazy about Suki is that she seems to be a good representation of our collective personality: slightly spazzy, incredibly optimistic, moderately well behaved, and fun to be around".

I still consider that to be true, but the flip side is that I can nosedive into anxious funks then have trouble climbing back up. I get frustrated, impatient, demanding, and am likely to hand out pot-meets-kettle criticism, then follow that up by feeling rotten for handing out criticism.

Sunday afternoon - I got pretty snitty with some of my roller derby bout production committee pals via email; it was simply a matter of me being out of an information loop, but since I was missing that particular bit of information (no Betti, the sky is NOT falling) things got mighty ugly in the land-o-Betti.

Since I can't skate, I take my role in derby production (perhaps too) seriously. I thought that my lack of action/attention had allowed for a big problem to develop, and since I had previously failed at my feeble attempt to drop out of my production position, I rapidly fell into "Crap! I KNEW this was going to happen, I can't keep up with everything!!" mode. That turned into "the bout will suck and it's my fault" which turned into blind panic, (oh so not fun, especially while 7 months pregnant) which turned into anger, which turned in nervous exhasuted wreck who sleeps badly and dreams of spreadsheets and pre-bout setup gone wrong.

Mr. Hubby has seen me fall into this mode many times before, and responded by turning off a football game and fixing me meatloaf - I've known for him 8 years now, and he still makes me swoon. Without Mr. Hubby's intervention, I'm sure I would have been much more anxious for a longer period of time.

Lucky for me I don't have the attention span (or energy) to stay angry about anything for very long. Especially because there is no problem to solve, I'm feeling much better. I kind of feel like a little kid who has become completely exhasuted by throwing a temper tantrum. I think I'm a nap away from just fine, and when this upcoming derby bout turns out to be a raging success I'll be back to Suki mode.