Sunday, April 1, 2007

mild injury #3 / some info about roller derby gear

Derby-training injury #1 was in mid-January; I was attending an open skate session at my local rink and fell on my knees while not wearing knee pads, which resulted in a mild bruise beneath my left knee. No big deal.

Derby-training injury #2 has been an ongoing battle between my skate and the arch of my right foot - I've learned how to tape up my foot so it is no longer blistered/mangled by friction, my socks are now blood-less, and I don't have to pause mid-practice to adjust shifting bandages. Kinda painful in short bursts, but again, no big deal.

Derby-training injury #3 was definitely the most fun to acquire. Yesterday, we practiced knocking each other over via controlled bodyslam. Essentially you skate after someone (who is acting like a "Jammer", the person who skates laps around/past a cluster of other skaters) and try to knock them over (or at least slow them down) by quickly bumping your shoulder-thru-hip into their shoulder-thru-hip, avoiding using your head, elbows, hands, or anything below the butt to bump into them. I was knocked over at least three times and made very good use of my mega-dorky looking butt-pads and tailbone protector. However, I have nothing padding my upper arm from an unexpected shoulder slam. At one point, I happened to be practicing with one of our referees-in-training who hadn't figured out that you use the entire side of your body, _not_ just the bony part of your shoulder. I should mention that he's a very sturdy dude with very broad (and apparently bony) shoulders. So now I have a bruise on my arm, a few inches down from the shoulder. I have no complaint about the mild pain; my complaint is that the bruise is definitely not picture-worthy. Many derby-team web sites have a section devoted to pictures of injuries, I suppose because even as adults we like to show off our boo boos.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Speaking of showing off, I'm assembling quite a collection of (goofy) skating outfits. I find that I'm most comfortable training in:
  • a helmet and mouth guard - because concussions suck
  • wrist guards with cut-up socks as liners - I broke my right wrist back in '83 at a skating rink, and already spend time in wrist braces, duh.
  • sports bra or regular bra covered by tight tank top - protect the girls! Even if it means squishing them into oblivion!
  • long sleeved cotton top - so the elbow pads don't rub bonus sweat-absorbing qualities, and protection from being scraped by someone else's padding
  • cotton undies - animal prints or cartoon characters please! If I have to have my clothes cut off by a medical professional, I might as well entertain them in the process.
  • thick (footless) tights - so the kneepads don't rub, animal prints or stripes preferred
    cotton bike shorts/tiny tight shorts/padded bike shorts - so my tights are more modest and I have something hold my butt pads in place and latch my tailbone protector onto.
  • (I have to mention that even if your tailbone protector is in its proper place, it makes you look like you dropped a giant load in your pants. Which is preferable to an injured tailbone, if that gives you an idea of how bad an injured tailbone can be).
  • -and- top off the three layers between my butt and the floor with a miniskirt (in a feeble attempt to hide my butt pads)
  • Of course I'm also wearing a pair or two of socks under my skates

Just wanted to shatter any possible illusions that I'm lookin' hawt, or even trying - I too have seen girls skate in thigh-high fishnets, tiny skirts and questionable undies. Although it's a very entertaining look, I don't think it’s for me -or- I'm too chicken to try anything like that just yet. I've seen too many photos of fishnet-print floor burns and wheel-shaped butt bruises to give much consideration to attempting vixen-on-wheels. At this point, I'd completely settle for not-disastrously-uncoordinated!

COMMENTS (harvested from old account)

Mari - 2007-03-02 13:30:21 I think you look really cute in your skirts/tights. Especially that pink striped candy look you had going on last sunday. I'm gonna do the fishnets when we're actually bouting. Over nice thick protective tights and with knee socks. Because, why not? It's fun and what other excuse to I really have to do that. But I'm all about these skirts with the built-in shorts. They look all sassy, but you can't actually show the world anything!

Madame D - 2007-03-04 07:18:41 Oh yes, I totally understand comfort/no pain vs. style. They can KEEP it!

nikki - 2007-03-05 09:49:35 mother fucking elvis on a stick! (love that line!)

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