Monday, November 5, 2007

haiku and hostility

First, I must tip my hat to Chris of Rude Cactus who has graced the blogosphere with 191 Monday morning haiku. His was the first blog I read regularly, and I quickly became hooked on his wife's blog also. By providing examples of how well-written blogs can be, I was ultimately inspired to start my own blog. Blame them for this blasphemy!

So, on to blah blah greatest compliment is imitation, blah blah, I'm compelled to share:

Director Spielberg
creative genius my ass
my pregnant dreams trump

Shortest version possible: I was hired on by a crazy Mr. Burns-esque art collector for a high-pay job with super benefits and permission to bring my (yet unborn) baby to work. Fast forward to me realizing that the reason I was hired is that my crazy-boss-to-be is actually some sort of cult leader who is after my unborn baby, because he somehow knows that my baby will be the ideal combination of perfect flaws. (Made sense in dreamland anyway . . .) I could bore you for hours by describing the office/compound and the works of art it contained - weird shit, my friends . . .

When I woke up, I felt how Rambo looks. Lord help any prowler dumb enough to enter my home, there would be nothing left but a pile of hamburger-esque goo, and me calmly picking my fingernails clean - I've had my share of hissy fits, but nothing compares to the outraged/angry/focused/deadly mindset I was in.

I wandered around the house, cuddled the dog and all three cats, ate cereal, and talked with Mr.Hubby (who was thankfully awake at the same time) for nearly an hour before I could even attempt sleep. The dreams that followed were about overthrowing the evil art collector/cult leader while trying not to give away that I had figured him out.

SO, apparently my brain is effectively getting into "protect the baby" mode?

6 comments:

MDB said...

Oh, I had some of the worst dreams when I was pregnant. Unfortunately, they didn't prepare me for the dreams I get now, from all the drugs.
So, when is Gozer going to come out and play?

rudecactus said...

Amazing how these things kick in naturally. Although for the past two weeks I've had insanely vivid dreams. And I'm not knocked up.

Thanks for the kind words :)

Alie said...

I still stand by my guesse that it's a girl becuase of all the dreams I had about the ababy being a little girl.
Had a dream my Mr. Hubby brought home 4 kittens for me. He drempt that the Maiame Dolphinsa actually won a game. (both VERY unrealistic)

nikki said...

What the heck, no baby yet?!?!? I want cute baby pictures!!!

cardiogirl said...

Just wait until you start dreaming about breast feeding the cat.

Jenny said...

God I remember those.

Once I dreamt that I had given birth to my baby but she was a cat. I kept trying to put baby clothes on her but she'd have none of it and I eventually had to let her go hang out with the other cats.

That dream still give me chills.